It all started when I was a kid. I was probably in 1st or 2nd class (grade).I was asked to fill up some application form (for the first time in my life). Then the deadly question came......
Religion:__________________
At that age I didn't know what it meant. I asked the attendant what it meant. He said to fill in my religion and I turned to my dad to know what it meant. He said to fill in 'ABCXYZMNOPQ' as my religion.I filled it and asked dad that what are the other options. He named a few and again I came up with another question.
"What's the difference?"
He said its dependent on the God they worship. But, till then, I was taught that there was only one God. I was taught that God was universal by my granny, by my teachers in KG. I inquired about the same. He didn't have an answer. So with an unsatisfactory explanation to myself (which I don't remember now) I filled the form and remembered my "Religion" for future use.
Nothing changed except for the state of my mind. I was in a state of confusion.
Few months later, I went to the school clinic for I was hit by a stone and I was bleeding. The compounder at the place, while dressing my wound with a bandage, asked whether I was of "XYZ" caste. Not knowing what does it mean and what to answer, I said yes. He then smiled and said he too is of the same caste. "So what?? Are you bleeding too??" I retorted. His smile turned to a smirk.
People say that you'll learn a lot as you grow. You grow wise as you grow old. But what grew all the while inside me was confusion. I surely knew about God in my KG days. But as I grew up, I think I am more confused than ever. At times, I doubt if He exists.
Today all I know about religion is that its a wonderful tool to kill each other in the world. All I know about caste is that its a weapon during election campaign and providing unnecessary reservation in every walk of life.
I now have these answers about caste and religion, but I wonder if I was ignorant back then or am ignorant right now!!
So I went to God and asked Him "They say that you know everything about every form, living or non-living, in the universe. Do you know what a religion is?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "Was it you who created all the castes and the so called varnas?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "They say you know the past present and future of everything and everyone. Is it true?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "If yes, then you should have known that we would kill each other in the name of religion. Then why did you create religion, why did you create caste? Infact, why did you create us?"
Atlast I heard Him speak.
God: "I maybe an illusion. I maybe a perception. I maybe a reality. But, it shouldn't bother you. All I want you to know is that the answers you seek are within you. So, search within yourself."
And then everthing began to fade. He was smiling again. He became bright. So bright and white that my eyes started burning. I was about to scream. Just then, I opened my eyes and found myself on bed :(
Religion:__________________
At that age I didn't know what it meant. I asked the attendant what it meant. He said to fill in my religion and I turned to my dad to know what it meant. He said to fill in 'ABCXYZMNOPQ' as my religion.I filled it and asked dad that what are the other options. He named a few and again I came up with another question.
"What's the difference?"
He said its dependent on the God they worship. But, till then, I was taught that there was only one God. I was taught that God was universal by my granny, by my teachers in KG. I inquired about the same. He didn't have an answer. So with an unsatisfactory explanation to myself (which I don't remember now) I filled the form and remembered my "Religion" for future use.
Nothing changed except for the state of my mind. I was in a state of confusion.
Few months later, I went to the school clinic for I was hit by a stone and I was bleeding. The compounder at the place, while dressing my wound with a bandage, asked whether I was of "XYZ" caste. Not knowing what does it mean and what to answer, I said yes. He then smiled and said he too is of the same caste. "So what?? Are you bleeding too??" I retorted. His smile turned to a smirk.
People say that you'll learn a lot as you grow. You grow wise as you grow old. But what grew all the while inside me was confusion. I surely knew about God in my KG days. But as I grew up, I think I am more confused than ever. At times, I doubt if He exists.
Today all I know about religion is that its a wonderful tool to kill each other in the world. All I know about caste is that its a weapon during election campaign and providing unnecessary reservation in every walk of life.
I now have these answers about caste and religion, but I wonder if I was ignorant back then or am ignorant right now!!
So I went to God and asked Him "They say that you know everything about every form, living or non-living, in the universe. Do you know what a religion is?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "Was it you who created all the castes and the so called varnas?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "They say you know the past present and future of everything and everyone. Is it true?"
God: (smiled)
Me: "If yes, then you should have known that we would kill each other in the name of religion. Then why did you create religion, why did you create caste? Infact, why did you create us?"
Atlast I heard Him speak.
God: "I maybe an illusion. I maybe a perception. I maybe a reality. But, it shouldn't bother you. All I want you to know is that the answers you seek are within you. So, search within yourself."
And then everthing began to fade. He was smiling again. He became bright. So bright and white that my eyes started burning. I was about to scream. Just then, I opened my eyes and found myself on bed :(
